hello to all the haterz on the world wide web

If you are new to my site, you are proabably wondering what this site is even about. The answer? It's about nothing. I got random rants about feminism or whatever, I guess. I post some art. I moved my taxi driver/goodbye horses edit to my about. My about will might you a general overview of who I actually am. I have an e-diary and that's more consistently and coherently updated. I use it to keep track of my life because I have a lot of memory issues. Art and other images in my photo album. My poems... are currently down. I decided I hate them actually. I have new ones I am going to post eventually. Anyway, there is no deeper meaning behind anything. This is just a weird little site.



where the hell are you people coming from

I've actually gained a few followers on here which is pretty weird to me. I think part of the appeal of Neocities is how it isn't based around making content and getting followers, it's just creating your own space, and there is a sort of freedom in the idea that you can do whatever you want because odds are no one will see it. 14 followers is objectively speaking not a lot but considering I don't have a super complex site with some distinct theme and content, it's pretty weird. Like, what do you people even like about this site? Not to say it's a bad site, cause I love it very much, I just don't see it being appealing to a mainsteam audience. It's only made for me. I'm a cult classic, fringe-audience sort of individual.

I'm trying to think of some new ideas for the site. Of course before I implement something new I need to re-implement that godforsaken poetry page.

the "girl" vs. the "woman": why is everyone infantilizing themselves?

What is the difference between girls and women? Normally, I'd assume it's just age, women are adults, girls are not. So why are so many grown adults calling themselves girls? Here's some of my theories.



message to tradwives: you are not being traditional.

Women have always worked. The archetype of the 1950's housewife is an anomaly. This perception that women only entered the workforce in the latter half of the 20th century comes from a white, middle class perspective. Lower class women, women of color, and immigrant women, (or combination thereof), always worked, even if they were not allowed to keep their wages and had to hand it off to their male family members. For example, in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in 1911, 123 women and girls died. Being immigrants did not make them any less female.

There's nothing inherently shameful about being a full-time homemaker (although it is a dangerous position to be in, and you run the risk of being trapped in an unhealthy relationship because you are financially dependent on your husband) but it's not this cosmic, "divine feminine", traditional way for women to live. Women have traditionally existed as both homemakers and workers, and this unequal division of labor is still seen in women living with male partners today. The greatest difference is that women today typically have control over their finances.



thoughts on women's sexuality and the entitlement to it

There's this type of misogyny that is really apparent to me particularly as a lesbian where women's sexualities are treated as secondary to men's sexualities. You can have a sexuality, just so long as it coincides with men's sexual desires. In the era of hookup culture and porn addictions, women are expected to be sexually available, always on the table. When a woman says "I don't want to have sex with men" it's a problem to be solved. She's prudish, she's traumatized, whatever. It can't just be a matter of I'm just not into it.

A women's sexuality isn't treated as what she actually wants to do, it's what she is willing to endure.

I told a therapist that I was a lesbian, and that I was outright repulsed by men's bodies, (after being prodded with, "why not?"), and she suggested I try dating asexual men. It didn't matter that in this scenario I would never feel attraction or fulfillment. Beccause if the man's asexual, you wouldn't have to have sex with him, at least in theory, so you'd just have to be able to endure his presence. (Of course, I've yet to meet a man who is actually asexual. I met one who claimed to be, but he was also a sexual predator, so I am more than dubious.)

My attraction to women didn't even factor into this scenario, because a women's sexuality is expected to be this passive thing, expected to take the form of whatever men want. Whether it's the father's who want to limit their daughter's sexuality, or the men who think that they are entitled to sex from women, on in this scenario, the asexual man who wants a girlfriend, a woman is expected to shape her sexuality around what is wanted. Being a lesbian is not wanted.

Aside from the traditional homophobia, we also get the guilt trips. The "examine your preferences." We need you to validate us with your body. Your sexuality needs to be inclusive or you are a bad person.

It's all the same entitlement, just dressed up in different ways.



thoughts on incels, and the "male loneliness epidemic"

They're stupid. I've been mentally ill and lonely and single for most of my life and you don't see me blaming other women for it! The big difference is that men feel entitled to women. They see their problems as something for women to solve. They think women are committing a crime against nature by not eroding their own sexual boundaries and coddling them. If you notice that no women want anything to do with you, that's not a problem with women, that means that there is something wrong with you. It's not just your appearance either, because frankly there's a lot of guys who aren't conventionally attactive "Chads" doing just fine. If you think you're an ugly man, most of that can be remedied by changing your hair/facial hair and improving your hygiene (no greasy hair, no dirty clothes!) Seriously, the beauty standards for men are not that strict. Developing a hatred for women while never working on yourself isn't going to help you.

So the men say they're lonely, yeah, so are the women. Everyone's lonely. This is late stage capitalism. This is only treated as an "epidemic" because men are confused as to why women aren't trying to stop everything to take care of them. Everyone's burnt out. We can hardly take care of ourselves. If you're so lonely, why not make some support groups for men? It's not our problem. When was the last time you heard men clamoring to campaign for women's mental health?